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[08 Dec 2006|05:22am] |
You were my everything. My life, my best friend. I lost you to a reason im not sure of. If you know me as well as i think you do you'll probally figure out faster than i can type, that the only reason im posting this is for the slight chance you'll will read it. I never thought we would end like this.I never thought we end.. not this soon at least. You're life is turning out to be nothing short of amazing, and if you ever do read this, just know that you basically taught me everything i know, and you know it. And when you deleted me it was proabally the lowest blow that i could take. If you really didn't know the only reason i had this was because of you. I miss you horribly, but im too afraid to call knowing that it is more than likely too late. It would be nice though to even think that you'd read this someday soon and realize that everything around me reminds me of you. Fuck, even you're name is written on my window; About a billion times. Im still waiting for the day that you'll call and say you missed me and it'd be all better. I really wish i wasn't so scared to call, or id find out myself. but i've got to be honest, i really can't belive how this ended up. Someone who was in my life for such a long time just dissapears. Someone who knew everything about me just gave up. Completely. Someone who was my best friend throughout high school is just moving on with her life, without me. Maybe you've gone on to other things, maybe you'll never read this. but for one chance of about no luck, the number won't change. Even if me thinking that everything we had is completely over might be true, every part of me doesn't want it to be. maybe i should have waited all night for you that day. Maybe i should have not been a scumbag in your eyes. But what is the point to telling this to livejournal? All the memories are what i have. You've seen me online and there was nothing. So now this is my turn to pretend to feel nothing. To pretend that i don't think this whole thing is bullshit. To pretend that i haven't lost one of the only people more important to me than everything. But what is the point of pretending anymore? To you, i already lost it.
To my best friend, i'll love you always and forever.
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[19 Sep 2006|04:00am] |
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I really wish i could figure out what i did that was so wrong. It's not supposed to get to me but you know me better than that. You're never going to read this and i think that's okay. But, im a liar, I miss having you around &can't pretend i don't want you in my life. You could care less. I wish i could take the same attitude as you and live up to the names you call me. I guess this is finally, goodbye.
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| KATRINA. |
[28 Aug 2005|04:13pm] |
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Lousiana, good luck.
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[21 Dec 2004|06:31pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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comedy |
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Snow day yesterday, was nice. Did nothing, FUN! I just love when that happens. Have not updated in a while, like always so figured I would check in. Christmas is so fucking soon. I am in the mood for christmas but unfortunately you guys didnt catch me in a cheery Christmasy mood today. I don't understand where this random aggravation comes from. Lasts for a couple hours and then i am perfectly fine. Like what the fuck is that? I love how i listen to comedy to try and make everything go away. Seems to be working for the most part. This is a funny:
"Are you drunk? NO i have a cold. Same cold i have had for two years I just can't seem to shake it. Im high as a kite and my teeth are green.
Merry fucking christmas."
Thoughts on NyQuil by the comedian I am listening to. NICE. But i have so much work in school this week, god damn teachers try and make me learn before vacation. Listening to this comic makes me think, amazing aint it? But seriously ever realize how many people today complain about everything in life. On how if you cry often somehow you are "depressed" or any kind of thing like that. It's kind of rediculous how much people complain about everything in this world.But that is just hypocrytical because i complain all the time.
What is also scary and awesome at the same time is the fact that in a couple weeks the year 2004 will be no more. Is it just me or did this year go by wicked fast? Everything seems to be going by quickly, just like this whole month of december. Last time i paid attention it was thanksgiving now i begin to pay attention and all of a sudden christmas is in four days. Why does my life pass by me so quickly? I could ask a thousand different fucking questions but i am just wasting my time arent i? They will not be answered.. Or if they are will they be the answers that i want to hear? But enough complaining for one day cause thats all i seem to do, EVER.
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[26 Sep 2004|10:42pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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some shit |
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happy birthday to me...((sings to self))
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